Emma (not her real name) is a teenager who has been locked up eight times. From the beginning, her life was marked by instability. She was removed from her parents as a baby due to their drug use. Raised by her grandmother in a chaotic household, she witnessed constant fighting and the erratic presence of her mother, who struggled with addiction.
“I didn’t have anyone to sit there and listen to me,” Emma said. “My brother was the only person who would.”
When her brother went to jail, things got worse. Emma began skipping school, battling anxiety, and turning to pills and alcohol to cope. By the time she was 12, she was doing drugs at a hotel party.
Her first time being detained came at 14. Overwhelmed and angry, Emma had a breakdown and punched out several TVs. When her grandmother tried to intervene after catching her stealing pills, Emma lashed out in a moment of rage and fear.
“I picked up the scissors and I punched her,” Emma said. “I didn’t want to hurt her for real.”
She was charged with third-degree battery and sent to a juvenile detention center. The experience was cold and isolating. “I was just crying,” she said. “I hadn’t cried in like a year.”
When Emma got out, she was placed on house arrest, but the cycle didn’t stop. Struggling with addiction and surrounded by others using drugs, she violated probation terms and was locked up again. Then again. And again.
Each time, she returned to the same environment. Each time, she felt like she had fewer options. Any support system she had when she got out of detention continued to dwindle as the people she knew got locked up, too.
In one instance, she traveled to another city with friends and was caught with drugs. Desperate to avoid jail, she tried to hide her ankle monitor and lie about her identity. None of it worked.
When police took her in, she called her mother and her grandmother to come get her from the station—neither one came.
“I threw the phone down. I shattered it. I picked it up and I was squeezing it so hard my wrist shattered.”
When the police tried to take away her phone, it triggered her. Even though it was broken, she still felt like they were trying to take what was hers and it made her angry. What followed was a physical altercation with officers, a hospital visit, and more time in lockup.
The years that followed brought more drug use—Xanax, alcohol, and eventually fentanyl. She overdosed, was revived with Narcan, and sent to a facility again. But this time, something clicked.
“I had one of those moments where I knew I really needed to stop,” she said.
In detention, she started to change. Staff gave her more responsibility. She worked in the kitchen. She started learning again. And she began to hope.
“I could see what life really was like. I met some good people,” Emma said. “They showed me life can be more than just drugs and jail.”
She now plans to get her GED and go to college to study psychology and criminal justice.
“I want to help people who are going through what I went through.”
Hear more of Emma's story in this episode of the Smart Justice podcast:
Other podcast episodes:
Smart Justice is a magazine, podcast, and continuing news coverage from the nonprofit Restore Hope and covers the pursuit of better outcomes on justice system-related issues, such as child welfare, incarceration, and juvenile justice. Our coverage is solutions-oriented, focusing on the innovative ways in which communities are solving issues and the lessons that have been learned as a result of successes and challenges.
The podcast is available on all major podcasting platforms.
Subscribe to the Smart Justice newsletter.