Dr. Karen Hall of Ouachita Behavioral Health and Wellness, who treats children and adolescents, said one common misperception among parents about the mental health of their child is that they don’t understand why their child would be depressed or anxious if they are giving the child a good life.
“The parents are saying ‘I’ve given you a safe house, you have food on the table, you have clothing.’ They think that if their child is depressed or anxious, it is a dig at them as a parent. It’s hard to get parents to see that it’s not necessarily their fault,” said Hall.
Dr. Hall was part of a panel discussion during Mental Health Awareness Month. The discussion took place at Ouachita Behavioral Health and Wellness in Hot Springs, Arkansas, and was hosted by the 100 Families Initiative and Restore Hope.
Dr. Hall said she also becomes concerned when parents seem to be teaching their children avoidance.
“Parents sometimes say, ‘If this is making my child anxious, we should just have them not ever see that and then the anxiety will just go away.’ That’s really hard because it’s actually the opposite. If you avoid something, it just gets scarier and scarier and you’re never actually dealing with the real issue.”
Dr. Hall said it’s possible for parents to find a good balance between supporting children and fostering their independence.
“Having a check in [with your child] every day is probably the best way of supporting. And asking it in a genuine way. Not while you are looking at your phone because then you’re not making eye contact or being intentional. Also, ask your kiddo if they want to check in right after school or if they need to decompress from the day first. Ask them if they want to be asked how they are doing with brothers and sisters around or if they want private time with just the parent. They need to feel heard,” said Dr. Hall.
If you avoid something, it just gets scarier and scarier and you’re never actually dealing with the real issue.Dr. Karen Hall
To foster independence and resiliency, Dr. Hall said it’s important to make sure children have coping skills.
“They’re going to have setbacks. They are going to have things that make them sad. People are going to make them mad. People are going to hurt them. Have you, as a parent, prepared them to process that and continue pushing forward?”
Dr. Hall added that teaching children to label emotions can be essential.
“If you can’t label your emotions, how can you express how you are feeling?,” she noted.
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