Financial abuse quietly keeps people in unsafe situations.
When a partner, family member or spouse withholds access to a shared bank account or creates debt in the other person’s name, it can make leaving the relationship complicated.
Then, add in controlling access to transportation, a phone or shared children and the layers of confusion around how to get help multiply.
Leaving a domestic violence situation isn’t as simple as walking out the door.
In October, concerned Iowans and partners of Thrive Iowa of Cass County gathered at the Cass County Community Center in Atlantic, Iowa to discuss the financial barriers to leaving abusive situations and how survivors can build financial security in rural Iowa. Cass County Coordinator Kristen Brooks led the discussion.
The panelists talked at length about the stigmas around why people stay in domestic violence situations. Bottom line: When people don’t have the funds to find a safe place to go, they often stay put.
Panelist Tess Willis, Family Advocacy Program Manager with Project Harmony (Atlantic and Denison, Iowa and Omaha, Nebraska), reminded the audience that conversations around domestic violence often center on physical or emotional abuse, and not many address the financial piece that holds so much power and control.
“It's impossible sometimes to leave if you don't have the finances for your own home, or to take care of children, or navigating to find new childcare,” panelist Carrie Potter, Program Manager for Shelter and Housing with Catholic Charities, shared. “But, if we don’t talk about it, the reality is, it’s a huge barrier for clients trying to leave abusive relationships. I think the most important thing is that you interact. I think just acknowledging that it’s a struggle, I know it’s hard, but there’s services and resources out there.”
One of those resources is Thrive Iowa. The community-led effort uses a collective impact model to coordinate local services that help Iowa families move from crisis to stability through secure housing, financial education and other core areas of support.
Kelly Williams is the Branch Manager at Community 1st Credit Union in Atlantic, Iowa. She added, “Money is a form of control. How many times have I heard ‘I can’t do it without them because they control everything. I’ve never done the finances. They always take care of it.’”
When she hears a new customer declines a debit card for their partner or refuses information about online account access for all account holders, her level of concern increases.
Restricting access to joint accounts can be a form of financial abuse.
Leaving a domestic violence situation may be dangerous in addition to financially difficult. Those affected face a loss of housing, childcare, food, transportation, and stability.
A few members of the audience asked follow-up questions about what they could do to help.
The panelists shared it’s best to listen closely and believe what the survivor is saying without blaming or judging. Focus on the person’s priorities, which may differ from your own.
Before offering details about financial education classes or resources around budgeting and paying down debt, the survivor may need to find stable housing, address food insecurity or solve transportation issues.
“I don’t think you need to know everything. You just need to know one person, whether that be law enforcement or an ER nurse, somebody,” Brooks explained. “They’re like, ‘I know, I got you. We can get you connected.’ The big picture of Thrive is us being connected to one another.”
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